The end of the year is a period filled with a mix of emotions for families around the world. While it can be an exciting time with the anticipation of holiday celebrations like Christmas and Hanukkah, it also brings about a sense of nostalgia and reflection. Families come together to create lasting memories, exchange gifts, and enjoy festive traditions that have been passed down through generations.
However, amidst the joy and merriment, it is important to acknowledge that for some individuals and families, the holiday season can be a challenging and difficult time. The emphasis on togetherness and celebration may serve as a stark reminder of loved ones who are no longer present, sparking feelings of grief and loneliness.
Moreover, the pressure to create the perfect holiday experience, both socially and financially, can add stress and anxiety to an already emotionally charged time of year. The expectation to participate in gift-giving, elaborate decorations, and extravagant feasts can be overwhelming for many, leading to feelings of inadequacy or isolation.
It hurts to miss someone who should be a part of these festivities for any number of reasons., whether it be death-related, illness- related or due to conflict within the family.
It hurts for it to be another year without a baby in your arms, who you have so desperately longed for, or to have to face Christmas whilst undergoing invasive fertility treatments or managing the physical and emotional toll of a pregnancy loss.
It hurts to feel the financial pressure of supporting your loved ones when you've lost your job this year, taken another path with your career, or perhaps have to work long hours to just afford food to put on the table for your loved ones.
There are so many losses that are highlighted at this time of year when the world is telling you to be merry and bright.
I will be hosting a final Death Café for the year, where I invite our community to join together to talk about grief in all its forms. We will gather with a cup of tea or coffee and a slice of cake and talk about a topic that often doesn't come to people's minds but is so painfully present; grief around the holidays.
In addition, may this be your invitation to consider some ways that might help you to feel slightly better this holiday season.
o Aim for peace or to just be, rather than holiday joy
o Travel somewhere new
o Look for small moments of comfort
o Get out in nature
o Volunteer
o Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling
o Wear headphones out in public to avoid holiday music
o Have an exit plan for holiday parties
o Include your missing person as part of holiday rituals
o Connect with other grieving people
o Spent quiet time with friends
o Give grief a seat at the table. Why not make a place for your loved one? Invite them to be a part of the conversation
o Seek additional support (emotional or practical) from friends, family, or support services
I will be offering counselling support to those who need it throughout the holiday period. Please reach out to discuss how this may help you to cope at this time of year.
My wish for you is that your holiday season be as safe and full of love and connection as possible and that there might be opportunities for you to create space for your grief without needing to mask it or push it aside (as is often required at other times of the year.) Take care of yourself and those around you, and I hope to see you soon.
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